Saturday, 22 October 2016
What the 3rd season of Black Mirror is like
If you're asking yourself, yes, there is an adventure video game called Black Mirror, but it's not related. There's also a 1981 movie with the same name, again not related. The title "Black Mirror" is a metaphor that's supposed to reflect (pun intended) the screen of your TV.
Episode 1: Nosedive
Synopsis: Meghan Trainor's even more annoying clone is obsessed about stars. In this utopian version of the future, everyone is measured by the approval rate of a global social network. It goes so far that businesses will outright insult you and scoff at your money if your crappy friends hate you. I bet politicians are doing great! Anyway, when our cheeky and jolly protagonist is invited at her childhood friend's wedding, she's more than excited to oblige, like too much. But hilarity is about to ensue when things don't go as planned and her approval rate starts taking a... nosedive. It's a cautious tale about the nasty addiction of Facebook likes.
Warning: A liberating amount of swearing.
Spoiler: Friendship is just a number.
Episode 2: Playtest
Synopsis: American hipster can't stop shutting up about his mommy. A typical young and arrogant American, who looks like the sexy twin of The Amazing Atheist (which was incredibly distracting for me) goes on a trip around the world to escape the horrors of reality. Soon he finds himself without money... in the middle of London! OOOOH! Spooky. In need of quick bucks, finds a job as a playtester for a genius-but-excentric Japanese horror games developer... Oh, he even looks like Shinji Mikami, okay. Except he's creating the most uncomfortable VR headset ever. It's a cautious tale about why you should turn off your phone during flight.
Warning: People with arachnophobia and mommy issues should avoid.
Spoiler: Mom, mom, mom, mom...
Episode 3: Shut Up and Dance
Synopsis: ...With Me! Hahaha, I love that song. No, but seriously, this one gets dark. A virus infects the computer of a sickly youngster who looks even scrawnier than DJ Qualls, apparently possible. Turns out the virus causes some hackers to take control of his camera and records him spanking the monkey. Reason enought to make the little pee-pants mouthbreather carry a cake all over town and meet Bronn from Game of Thrones. Turns out there's a whole net of monkey spankers and chicken chokers out there. It's a cautious tale about why you should just stick to regular porn, you sick fuck!
Warning: You are at risk. Your PC needs to be scanned for viruses and spyware. Click here NOW!
Episode 4: San Junipero
Synopsis: 'Member Atari, 'member the arcades? 'Member Walk like an Egytian? Yeah, it's the 80s, with the big hair, fluffy blonde moustaches and pink outfits. It's colorful neon and it's loud. But it's not what it seems. The nerdy girl from the 80's inspired TV show Halt and Catch Fire, plays a nerdy girl who falls in love with a full-of-life young woman who's about to teach her how to live her life. Oh... Turns out they're both old hags playing GTA Online with an 80's theme mod. I'd play that. It's a cautious tale about why I will never give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you!
Warning: Mullets, rolled-up sleeves and huge shoulder pads.
Spoiler: MMO Heaven.
Episode 5: Men Against Fire
Synopsis: This is a tale about a bunch of soldiers who are tasked with the protection of civilians from the dangers and sicknesses carried by roaches. Roaches are people too, ya know, except they're so damn ugly they shouldn't be allowed to live. There's a chance they'll meet other roaches and breed. Does the world need more ugly roaches? I don't think so. Oh no, I'm a terrible person! Oh, well... There are some really great POV scenes, both in terms of action, first person shooter style, and in terms of the best wet dream ever. Until you realize it was all a lie! This is a cautious tale about why having implants in your head is a bad idea, I think...
Warning: Some fingering involved.
Spoiler: Roach lives matter.
Episode 6: Hated in the Nation
Synopsis: Starring that Scottish actress from Boardwalk Empire, I figured out she's not really acting, but actually just playing herself. She's a cop trying to solve a murder. Turns out it's killer robot bees, but also a hacker cotrolling them, and people publicly choosing who they should kill next. I'm not an expert in free speech, but I'm pretty sure that's conspiracy to murder. No spoiler, it happens fast. Here's my take on this: If you're Elon Musk and like to play God after nature kills all bees, don't make bees out of metal. The only point of that is for them to burry in people's brains. Also featuring, a cheap knock-off of Will I Am, and Kim Jong-Un in person. This is a cautious tale about why you should use hashtags responsibly.
Warning: #NOPE #Triggered
Spoiler: OH, NO! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! AAAAAABLAARGHHHHH!
So this was an interesting season. I'm really glad Netflix got their hands on it, because I think they really know how to make a good investment. With that in mind, I'm really eager for the next season of What the Hell am I Watching? Thank you for reading!
Written by Laurentiu Badea